Angels and Devils
by Melantho11
Summary: Loving someone can cast out the devil or make a person mentally well again. If you love them enough.


_**I just read the book Afterwards by Rosamund Lupton and became immediately intrigued with the character, Rowena. I decided to try and write a short piece about her and Jenny as a challenge. Hope you enjoy it! :)**_

**I. **"_I used to avoid her when we were children."_

They had kissed once. When they were young, about ten or twelve. Rowena doubted Jenny would even remember it. They were just kids. But Rowena remembered all of it. Remembered just how soft Jennys lips felt against her own and how she could feel her body melt into Jennys. The sweet taste of Jennys berry chapstick must of been what love tastes like. Before then she had never known anything about it. Jenny had giggled and acted silly about it, and then skipped off to some of her other friends. Rowena hadn't expected her to stay. Jenny thought she was weird. But she thought Jenny was the closet thing to perfect in her messed up world.

_"She was just...well as I said,_ _weird."_

**II. **_"She had to be the best at everything. It used to freak me out."_

Jenny had her first boyfriend at fifteen. Rowena had become the ugly duckling in reverse, yet Jenny seemed to become more beautiful every day. Jenny was easily the most popular girl at school, everyone seemed to adore her. And Rowena did too. She hated walking down the hall and seeing Jenny flirting with her precious boyfriend near her locker. All of Jennys friends were pretty and popular, so Rowena desperately searched for any way she could impress Jenny. She managed straight As, with an A+ in science. She had thought Jenny would be impressed, that maybe she would think of her as being worth something. And after the science teacher praised her for getting a 105 on her midterm exam she had turned expectantly toward Jenny and caught her rolling her eyes, whispering something to her friend. They giggled and glanced over at Rowena whos heart sunk. And in that moment Rowena knew that if she could trade being smart for being pretty, she'd do it.

_"If I could swap being clever for being pretty...I'd do it."_

**III.**_ "I'm her little disappointment. When I was little, I was pretty, you see. She was proud of me then. But as I got older, well, I stopped being pretty. And she stopped loving me."_

By sixteen she was jealous of Jenny. She knew she was when she saw Adam run over and throw his arms around Jenny going on and on about some knight story he read. And then Jennys mother had come over and kissed her on the cheek, laughing at Adams quirks. Rowena couldn't remember the last time her mother looked like her like that, with love. In fact, she tended to avoid her mothers gaze most often, as it was often one of disappointment. Trying to get her to look more pretty, making comments about her looks, and "why couldn't she try to look more like the other pretty girls?" So next time her mother called her ugly, she had lost it. Screamed at her, told her she was the one who was fat. And then she had slapped her. It was the first time she'd ever acted on any anger, but the memories of Jennys smiling mother had overcome her. Rowena flinched when her hand connected with her mothers cheek. But the ugly comments stopped that day. And when her mother called her "a twit" the next day, she had hit her again, stopping the comments once more. And soon she grew desperate, doing anything to stop the scathing remarks. Because every word was a constant reminder that she wasn't good enough for Jenny.

_"Shut up, hog."_

**IV. **_"It was Jenny he wanted. He was besotted with her, flirtted with her all the time. She didn't flirt back, got a little irritated I think."_

She hated that man, Silas Hyman. He was constantly flirting with Jenny, who just looked uncomfortable the entire time. She had seen him the same way with lots of women in the school. Buut it was a little different with Jenny, more like an obsession, like he was determined to sleep with her. So she has made herselfd available. And every single time Silas was allowed to touch her she told herself that it was for Jenny. And she would go home and cry herself to sleep. Her mother had found out of course, and demanded she stop it. But she wouldn't. Because if she did, Silas would end up targeting Jenny.

_"He's a pathetic piece of shit. Spineless."_

**V. **_"I'm not sure if it means anything but the last text I sent her on Wednesday afternoon has been deleted."_

She had thought Ivo was the dumbest name in the world. Jenny never shut up about him and was constantly texting him. And so Rowena would just go to the park during lunch to escape it. She hated listening to how blue Ivos eyes were and how cute he was and how he had a flawless six pack. And all the other girls would giggle and Rowena would stand there glaring at Jenny. How dare she break her like this? Couldn't she see she loved her? But she endured it, never said anything about it. Because really what could she do?

_"Its hard, you know. Not being pretty. I mean at school all the popular girls are ones with pretty faces and long hair who are good at music and English and art."_

**VI. **_"I mean we're going to have to sell the house. Get somewhere small or rent. And Rowena's finished school now, so there are no more school fees. That would have been the only really hard thing to change, if she'd had to leave her school."_

They were absolutely broke. How pathetic Jenny would think she was.

_"Mummy's afraid of being poor."_

**VII.** _"Did she intend to kill him? ..."No of course not."_

She had never ever meant for Adam to be killed. How dare the officer ask her some stupid question like that? She was desperate, had only thought he might be scratched up a little. But that was it.

_"She can't of meant to kill him." But her voice shakes, no scafolding of conviction to sustain it."_

**VIII. **_All she could think of was Rowena hitting her mother, hurting her._

Jenny had seen her slapping her mother. Jenny had looked at her with absolute disgust. And in that moment Rowena needed to distract her attention. She was terrified Jenny had witnessed it and she was even more scared that Jenny would find out she had started the fire. So she panicked. "Adam went looking for you, he's on the fourth floor." And as soon as she ran off Rowena knew it had been a mistake.

_"Adam's gone to look for you. Up in the medical room."_

**IX. **_"And Adam was outside by that bronze statue, and he was sobbing against Rowena and she was holding him tightly._

She held Adam outside by the statue. Where was Jenny? She had assumed she would realize Adam was safe and come running oustide. Thank god Adam was okay. But she had to keep the front up, keep playing the part so no one would find anything out. So she told him it was his fault. In the end, no one would blame him really, it was an honest mistake. But where was Jenny? Panicking she grabbed her phone and sent Jenny a desperate text. "ADAM=SAFE...GET OUT NOW!" Two minutes, no response. Where was she? Then suddenly a bang, and the fire got worse. Thats when she dropped everything and sprinted toward the water jugs. Soaking a towel and putting it over her face. And then she saw Jennys phone and her heart sunk. Jenny still thought Adam was up there. She ran towards the buliding and pushed open the door. Smoke was everywhere and she immediately started choking. "Jenny!" she screamed her name over and over again. But she felt dizzy and the smoke was overwhelming. "Jenny!" she cried weakly. And then the world went black.

_"She'd seen you run in. Heard you screaming for Jenny. But she didn't run away. She found a towel in the PE shed and soaked it in water. She put it over her face. Then she went into the school to help you."_

**X. **_"He goes in and through the half open doorway I see his shape bending over her."_

She had visited Jenny in the hospital. Stood over her bed and whispered how sorry she was. She never meant any of this to happen. And then she heard a door open and the nurse was coming in. Whirling around she tripped over some cord as she stumbled getting out of the room. The nurse would fix it.

_"One of our nurses told us that a piece of equipment we're using to help Jenny, the endotracheal tube that connects to her ventilator, came lose last night."_

**XI. **_As the film loops again, and I watch her run into the burning building, I imagine that her angel is yelling at her loudly enough to drown out the devil. Really. An angel. Not one with a frilly dress abd silver wings at the top of the Christmas tree, but a muscular Old Testament one, a Raphael or Michael. A bold strong angel as the good in her takes shape and finds a voice._

"Will she die?"

There was no answer.

And for the first time since the fire, she cried for real.

_Tears welled in Rowenas eyes. "I thought you'd say that."_


End file.
